Friday, July 23, 2010
So here I am facing the inevitable passing of my grandfather. Waiting for him to leave us is painfully torture some. All I want to do is hold his hand and say a proper good bye. But being in Texas while he is in Cincinnati makes it a little difficult. I have yet to face the loss of anyone whom I have ever really cared for as deeply as I do him. I know how blessed I am to be approaching 30 and never have suffered this kind of loss. I still have all 4 of my grandparents as of now. What a rare thing that is. Most of my friends don't have any living grandparents. Even though I am deeply aware of how blessed I am, I still cant fight the feeling that this is completely unfair. This is the man that I used to watch and help in his garden that he was so passionate about, the man that held me on his lap, made me pull his finger and then laughed hysterically when I covered my nose because he smelled awful, he taught me about the vegetables in his garden, and how to do stained glass, watched me as I enjoyed swimming in the pool in his back yard and helped me learn how to swim, the man that I watched soften with age and became someone I enjoyed sitting down and having long conversations with, the man I have loved for 30 years. I also have had the gigantic privilege of watching him hold and play with my children. I had the task of explaining to my 3 year old that we will not see Great Pawpaw anymore. Her reply? I will miss my Great Pawpaw because he will be dead. I asked her what she would miss about him, she said "I will miss hugging him and giving him kisses" She also started talking about when they colored together, he traced there hands, I remember grandpa doing this with me. So many memories!! I will try and hold on to these memories and think of them often. I will hold grandpa in my heart for as long as I live and know as long as he is in my heart, he is always with me!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I remember telling him that I wanted to catch a bird, he told me that if I did I would crush all its bones. I had nightmares about that one.
ReplyDeleteI remember swimming in the pool with Cory mostly, swinging on the rope swing he made for the grandkids, and climbing in his fruit trees. I remember the garden and canning it. I remember grandpa making wine. I remember playing under the pool table. I remember grandma tucking us in at night and leaving on a night light for us. I remember playing on the organ. I remember that little dog that sat in the living room next to the totally 70's plant globe. Does anyone else remember that piece of driftwood that sat in the living room kind of behind the chair by the front door? I remember the drinking fountain on the back porch and the glider. I remember grandma and grandpa feeding a squirrel on the porch. I remember watching grandpa mowing grass on his tractor and thinking, GOD, could he go any slower? Ha ha! I remember sitting on the wall on the front porch. I remember grandma's roses on the side of the house. I remember the exercise bike in the basement. I remember the awful couch in the basement. (totally 70's) I remember the green house. Grandma and grandpa always taught us about things, always making us a part of what they were doing. I remember grandpa's poop bag, oh how he liked to mess with us over that thing!! I remember him pulling his finger off, and not realizing that it was already gone. Scared the poop out of me! More recently, I remember cleaning for them, always included lunch with them, grandma cooking. I'm so glad I spent that time with them. I learned so much about them that you don't get as a kid. I loved my time with grandma when grandpa was in the hospital, spending the night with her. She hated to be alone, always quick to accept my offer to stay with her. I remember Grandpa becoming, like you said, a lot softer. He told me he loved me a lot more, he cried so many times when I was leaving. I will miss him soooo much!! :(