So here I am facing the inevitable passing of my grandfather. Waiting for him to leave us is painfully torture some. All I want to do is hold his hand and say a proper good bye. But being in Texas while he is in Cincinnati makes it a little difficult. I have yet to face the loss of anyone whom I have ever really cared for as deeply as I do him. I know how blessed I am to be approaching 30 and never have suffered this kind of loss. I still have all 4 of my grandparents as of now. What a rare thing that is. Most of my friends don't have any living grandparents. Even though I am deeply aware of how blessed I am, I still cant fight the feeling that this is completely unfair. This is the man that I used to watch and help in his garden that he was so passionate about, the man that held me on his lap, made me pull his finger and then laughed hysterically when I covered my nose because he smelled awful, he taught me about the vegetables in his garden, and how to do stained glass, watched me as I enjoyed swimming in the pool in his back yard and helped me learn how to swim, the man that I watched soften with age and became someone I enjoyed sitting down and having long conversations with, the man I have loved for 30 years. I also have had the gigantic privilege of watching him hold and play with my children. I had the task of explaining to my 3 year old that we will not see Great Pawpaw anymore. Her reply? I will miss my Great Pawpaw because he will be dead. I asked her what she would miss about him, she said "I will miss hugging him and giving him kisses" She also started talking about when they colored together, he traced there hands, I remember grandpa doing this with me. So many memories!! I will try and hold on to these memories and think of them often. I will hold grandpa in my heart for as long as I live and know as long as he is in my heart, he is always with me!